I've been arguing with myself for the past month. Particularly as our big move gets even closer. I should be overjoyed at getting out of the ghetto - I've been praying for it for so long! And I am so excited about getting out.
And here's the but...
BUT, I feel so stressed out still! We've been attacked hardcore this whole month. And these last few weeks, it's hit us particularly hard in the pocketbook. We've had well over $2,000 in unexpected expenses come up this month. (My total monthly income is about half that.) Of all months. The month that we also have to figure out how to afford to move. So I'm feeling super stressed cause I don't know how we're going to come up with $1,300 by Saturday for our first month's rent and security deposit.
And that's the thing, too. We don't necessarily need to figure it out. We certainly haven't been paying our bills out of our own resourcefulness. God's been providing this whole time. Why am I having such a hard time relaxing and trusting that He'll provide this time?
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Sunday, August 9, 2009
To love is to serve
So here's what's on my heart tonight:
Jesus showed us that loving means serving. He and His Father also said that loving means obeying. Jesus demonstrated through his life's work that the heart of God is serving the hungry, the widows, the orphans, the homeless, and the imprisoned. Anyone down on their luck or trampled on by society are the ones that we are commanded to show compassion to.
I'm leading the community service ministry at my church and it's honestly been a bit frustrating at times. There's a surprising amount of people I've encountered that say they are too busy, aren't skilled enough, or (my personal favorite) just don't feel like serving (although I do appreciate the latter's honesty). My initial reaction has been to get a little indignant. I mean, Jesus tells us pretty plainly that serving is what we should be doing. It's pretty unquestionably a requirement of anyone who claims to love Jesus.
And that's where my heart is starting to change. I've been praying for God to convict my church family. To make them realize how wrong it is to not serve. But what I should be praying is that they fall head over heels in love with Jesus.
I'm reading Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller (good book, btw). In it, he talks about his church and the awesome ministries they have (like feeding 100+ homeless teenagers every week). But the process by which these ministries come about is one that involves prayer, fasting, and seeking the face of the God they love.
I've realized that there's not a whole lot of point in being a warrior for social justice unless it comes from a place of loving Jesus so much that you are swept away into service for Him. When you love someone, you want to know what's important to them. You want to experience those things with them. Community service shouldn't come from a sense of obligation, but from a desire to show Jesus how much you love Him and live out that love.
So I feel like a jerk for looking down my nose at some of my church family because Jesus wasn't doing the same things in them that He was doing in me. I'm now quite certain He's been doing equally amazing - albeit different - things in their lives. And now I'm excited to pray that Jesus sweeps them off their feet and they love Him more and more everyday. Because I'm starting to see what that looks like and I can't help wanting everyone to see the humble love that Jesus offers. I want everyone to know what amazing fruit being joyfully inconvenienced for your Savior can bring.
Jesus showed us that loving means serving. He and His Father also said that loving means obeying. Jesus demonstrated through his life's work that the heart of God is serving the hungry, the widows, the orphans, the homeless, and the imprisoned. Anyone down on their luck or trampled on by society are the ones that we are commanded to show compassion to.
I'm leading the community service ministry at my church and it's honestly been a bit frustrating at times. There's a surprising amount of people I've encountered that say they are too busy, aren't skilled enough, or (my personal favorite) just don't feel like serving (although I do appreciate the latter's honesty). My initial reaction has been to get a little indignant. I mean, Jesus tells us pretty plainly that serving is what we should be doing. It's pretty unquestionably a requirement of anyone who claims to love Jesus.
And that's where my heart is starting to change. I've been praying for God to convict my church family. To make them realize how wrong it is to not serve. But what I should be praying is that they fall head over heels in love with Jesus.
I'm reading Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller (good book, btw). In it, he talks about his church and the awesome ministries they have (like feeding 100+ homeless teenagers every week). But the process by which these ministries come about is one that involves prayer, fasting, and seeking the face of the God they love.
I've realized that there's not a whole lot of point in being a warrior for social justice unless it comes from a place of loving Jesus so much that you are swept away into service for Him. When you love someone, you want to know what's important to them. You want to experience those things with them. Community service shouldn't come from a sense of obligation, but from a desire to show Jesus how much you love Him and live out that love.
So I feel like a jerk for looking down my nose at some of my church family because Jesus wasn't doing the same things in them that He was doing in me. I'm now quite certain He's been doing equally amazing - albeit different - things in their lives. And now I'm excited to pray that Jesus sweeps them off their feet and they love Him more and more everyday. Because I'm starting to see what that looks like and I can't help wanting everyone to see the humble love that Jesus offers. I want everyone to know what amazing fruit being joyfully inconvenienced for your Savior can bring.
Movin' on up!
FINALLY!!!!!!
WOOHOO!!!!
We are moving the hell out of the ghetto!!!!!!!
So excited.
We got an opportunity to move into the top half of the home of one of the family's in our church. It's only a mile from where we're at now, but there's a million miles of difference in the neighborhood. We're going to have 2 bedrooms, a big bathroom (with 2 sinks!), and the small landing area that's upstairs. PLUS we'll have full access to downstairs where the kitchen, dining room and living room are AND there's a small backyard with a BBQ!!! All of that for a little less than what we're paying now.
I'm so excited to get out of here, but I have to admit, I'm not sure I really believe it yet. We've had several close calls on getting out of here, but obviously none of those panned out. I'm just trying to trust God that this is really what he has for us.
Weird story - within the first few months of us being down here, I was talking to one of my then-coworkers. I was complaining about living in the ghetto and saying how we were hoping to be out soon. His response? "Oh no, dude. You'll be there for at least three years. That's just the minimum for putting in your time in the ghetto." I told him to take it back. He didn't. He said it was just fact. When we move at the end of this month, we will have been in the ghetto for 1 week shy of three years. I guess our time is up!
Praise the Lord!
WOOHOO!!!!
We are moving the hell out of the ghetto!!!!!!!
So excited.
We got an opportunity to move into the top half of the home of one of the family's in our church. It's only a mile from where we're at now, but there's a million miles of difference in the neighborhood. We're going to have 2 bedrooms, a big bathroom (with 2 sinks!), and the small landing area that's upstairs. PLUS we'll have full access to downstairs where the kitchen, dining room and living room are AND there's a small backyard with a BBQ!!! All of that for a little less than what we're paying now.
I'm so excited to get out of here, but I have to admit, I'm not sure I really believe it yet. We've had several close calls on getting out of here, but obviously none of those panned out. I'm just trying to trust God that this is really what he has for us.
Weird story - within the first few months of us being down here, I was talking to one of my then-coworkers. I was complaining about living in the ghetto and saying how we were hoping to be out soon. His response? "Oh no, dude. You'll be there for at least three years. That's just the minimum for putting in your time in the ghetto." I told him to take it back. He didn't. He said it was just fact. When we move at the end of this month, we will have been in the ghetto for 1 week shy of three years. I guess our time is up!
Praise the Lord!
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