Johnny weighs in

Alright, now that we're using this blog we registered forever ago the wife totally wants me to contribute. I guess I don't have much else to do. No, really, last night Megan and I spent three hours untangling a gigantic yarn knot. It probably saved us about 70¢. That should tell you what our time:money ratio looks like right now.

I'm not sure what to write. I occasionally update a myspace blog. The last three posts were:

1. How much I want a hamster-person (i.e., pygmy marmoset)
2. The time my mom made me think she had an unrealistically large french-fry and I cried when she ate it (I was much younger)
3. A drunken post about how I have a lot of street cred for a white boy. Yes, I'm one wacky cracker!

That's me kicking it (proverbially) with my crew (crew is also used figuratively). I'm on the left.

Unsure what to write about, or even how to write seriously, Megan suggests I should talk about the Advent reading we did last Sunday. For those of you who don't know what Advent reading is, I'm sorry, I couldn't tell you. I've never had it explained to me either, but it seems to be lighting candles at Christmas time and talking about what they represent.

Izzy asked us to read about joy. This is probably the worst topic for me to talk about right now. I'm unemployed, recently got in a car accident, can't afford gifts for any of my loved ones, just got over the flu, and don't even know where I'll be living two weeks from now. And the worst part, Mike Maxell passed last Saturday. I love Mike, and I as I'm up there reading about joy I can only think about how much more everyone in that room must have loved him, having known him for years. We'll miss you buddy.

I don't know if I was feeling irrationally cynical, but I couldn't bring myself to agree with the Advent reading. Especially so the description of peace, which read:

"Peace is like sitting down in your favorite chair after a hard day of work. In your hand is a hot mug of coca, in the background, soft Christmas music is playing. As you begin to doze off, you just know God is in control of everything. In a similar way 'Jesus is our peace'."

I understand the need to draw an image of peacefulness, but this isn't the Peace that Christ came to give us. Even unbelievers know and feel this peace (many of them much more often than I do)! But the Peace that Jesus offers is so much more than that. The Peace He gives us is knowing Mike Maxell is in a better place, and that we'll see him again soon. Peace means that although life is a storm right now, I'm with the One who the wind and the waves obey. Peace means knowning that even if I didn't have my family and friends right now, I still wouldn't be going through this alone.

This life-being-hard thing is pretty new to me. I grew up with parents who do well for themselves. I went to a private university to study music. I got out, started a business with a friend and we soon found ourselves brokering large securities and fringe investments. Most of you probably don't know this, but we had a very substantial gold deal that came within a hair's breath of closing. It would have made us multi-millionaires.

You know, I think if that would have happened, I would've had the "music and coca" view of peace and could've gone my whole life without understanding real peace. For what it's worth, I'm glad I understand this and have a fresh perspective. I'm sure my understanding is still shallow and narrow, but at least it's a start. I wanted that gold deal to fund so I could help people with the income. Now I actually understand what it is to need help. Maybe that's the gold I got out of it.

Learning a lesson can suck.

Maybe I'm going through this so that someday (hopefully soon!) I can be a conspicuous example to the world of God's never-failing power to overcome. He has been good to us, and He will continue to be good to us--just you watch!