Johnny #2

Megan often gets mad at me in our serious talks because I'm not serious enough. You see, I'm completely capable of having a serious conversation while making handpuppets. No, really, I'm just that talented. Well, art has imitated life and Megan got upset that my first blog post included monkeys and stuff (though I was forgiven after she read it), so I'm going to try and keep this monkeyless. Although, with the inclusion of the word "monkeyless" and the veiled poop joke in the title, I'm not sure that's still possible.

Crap, I did it again. Actual monkey photo (above).

Well, with that out of the way, I'll get to what was really on my mind. I went to Mike Maxell's funeral today. It was a beautiful service. But, funerals are always bittersweet, and they're difficult for anyone to go to. That said, it wasn't helpful with my recent struggle to not be pissed off at God. But, in the way only someone much stronger in faith could do, Mike passed on some great wisdom in his passing.

>If Mike never gave up, who am I to even think about it?

With nothing working out like we even half expected, it's natural to ask myself why I should even keep going. It's said that only a fool will keep trying the same thing over again and expect a different outcome each time. Two years after moving down here, I'm feeling like a fool. I find myself questioning if I was *really* hearing God's call to come down here. But I know I can't give up, and the only way Mike dealt with it was, as he said, "God is 911." Like Mike, I'll never make it without leaning on Him. I'm not the first person who's had to learn this, but God loves me enough to put stronger people in front of me to model that strength.

Before I moved down here, when I was in college and rediscovering the Lord, I asked Him to give me wisdom. I had the lottery-winning Solomaic model in mind: I ask for wisdom, and God would make me the wisest, richest, pimpingest man on earth. I think he's answering my prayer, but not in the way I had hoped.

In good news, it looks like we have a door opened to stay down in So Cal even if we don't have the money to make rent in January. Brent has offered to let us stay in the house he's fixing up. It sounds like a win-win. We get a free place to live in, and there will be plenty of paint fumes around to help us mellow out (sometimes a win-win means you win twice, it's not necessarily a mutual victory).

Let's see what happens.